It’s common sense that if one drinks a lot of water, they will have to relieve their bladder at some point. But when it comes to ingesting anger, sadness, and other “heavy” emotions, we think that they are just magically transformed. Because we can’t see them, we disconnect from the process of relieving them. Yet our verbiage tells us otherwise.
Someone dumped on me today.
I just had to talk it out.
I have to bounce it off someone.
I am taking in everything that you are saying.
We know that there is a need to get rid of these issues. The lazy way is to dump them onto some agreeable soul. This is pure ignorance. People are hurting their friends because they are too lazy to take action to convert the stagnant energy into a more productive form. Of course some people are in a chronic state and they may need the help of a professional who is equipped to deal with their barrage of emotional energy. But the rest of us should not have to be made to feel guilty by not being a dumping ground for a friend’s issues. We should not require this of our friends.
There are so many people who say they love their friends but have to limit their time with them because all the friend does is want to talk about their problems. They will even get angry at the friend who tries to pull back and ask why they cut them off. The are cutting the friend off from a sense of self-preservation. It is a necessary survival tool sometimes.
There are more responsible ways to convert this energy from stagnant emotional energy to something productive.
Journal – It is a safe and effective way of getting emotions out.
Exercise – It converts emotional energy into kinetic energy.
Self Improvement – It is converting negative energy into positive energy.
Helping Others – The feel-good component will override the resistance that the stored issues will invoke (resistance is stagnant emotional issues that want to stay put).
Realizing that there is an exchange of energy in every interaction will make people more conscious and responsible as to what they bring to the table. For example, the reason why people get irritable when they are dieting is because all the anger that they stored in the liver is now being separated from the fat they stored and is now re-manifesting. How many overweight people have situations or relationships in their life that are overwhelming? Being overweight isn’t about being greedy for food, it is about needing a base substance of fat to store the emotional issues that are being carried. People are literally eating their problems.
People need to be trained how to treat each other. Sometimes when people secure a session with me, they think they will be dumping all their angst onto me. I cannot allow that. When I try to explain that I can not process all the emotions that they want to pass over; that I merely unhook them from them and send them away; they feel frustrated and may continue to energetically vomit on me. I consider it rude a some point and if they continue, may choose not to interact with them in the future. My way is effective.. Their way may serve themselves but it doesn’t serve their target/victim – aka friend.
Some people look for horrific things to put on their Facebook pages. They know they are affecting others. It makes them feel important. People know that it feels good to unload on their page because good people are reading and taking it in. They are disconnected from the cause and effect of their actions and just feel the energetic component of it.
If you are someone who people find to dump on, you may want to look at that. It may feel good short-term to listen to someone and make them feel good. But how does it serve you in the long run? Is your life running smoothly? How is your health. I guarantee that many of the people who have fibromyalgia are the caring, nurturing types. I have told a few of them to abstain from nurturing others for a while. Most have been incapable of doing it because that is how their sense of self is being fed.
If you are being dumped on share this post. The next time someone starts to dump, stop them and shift to something neutral. Explain that it doesn’t feel good to your well-being to listen to their problems. If they understand then they care about you. If they react, they are inadvertently using you for their own well-being. If they continue, tell them to please stop and continue to advocate for yourself, even if you have to tell them to shut up. Make the distinction between caring about them but not caring about hearing their issues. If they still continue, you may have to cut them off. Your well-being and your sense of wholeness is your first priority. It is your first job in life to maintain your own balance. Your happiness and sense of balance is never on the table as a bargaining chip for friendship. But a friend’s respect of your boundaries and a sense of responsibility in interacting with you is on the table. You hold all the cards. Play your hand wisely!