The Perfect Mate

How many great relationships have to crash and burn before people realize that the purpose of a life-long partner is not to stay in warm and fuzzy mode all the time?

The purpose of Life is to teach us. That being the case wouldn’t it make sense that the way the Universe would show us Love is to send us someone who can teach us lessons at close range that no one else is able to?

Life is a set of cycles within cycles. If we weren’t challenged we would be bored, lazy and complacent. The initial stage of a cycle comes with enthusiasm. We fuel any new endeavor with emotion to move it into a perpetual stage of motion. This is the honeymoon stage.

The Universe doesn’t give you anything that you can’t handle. Unless a person is putting you in danger with abuse, the frustration you may be experiencing may be your own stubbornness and it is likely that you attribute it to the other person. A partnership is a two-way street meant to break you free of your own resistance. Our own issues are blind spots on our spiritual journey. Who else is going to be able to show them to us except for someone who is allowed within our inner sanctum to address them?

When you have a disagreement with your mate:

  • Immediately validate them as right; because they are right from their point of view. That is one way to let down the walls on both sides.
  • Recognize all disagreements as a flaw in the ability to convey the accurate message to each other and not a flaw in the other person’s character.
  • Take a break from each other. The energies that are stirred up are intense and usually have nothing to do with the other person. Let the frustration clear the air by putting space between you.
  • Remember why you love that person. Visualize it. Recall the love and feel imbued by it.
  • Recognize your cycles of thinking. Women tend to get gnawing, negative thoughts at particular times in the month. Recognize thoughts that are fueled by hormones and negate them right away. Don’t allow them to snowball. If you must entertain them at all, decide to put them aside for two weeks.
  • Don’t compare your relationship to others. This is a competitive world by nature. Others want to look good in comparison. If we are feeling vulnerable at a certain time, this will be a blatant chink in our armor that others will either consciously or unconsciously use to weaken us.
  • Don’t talk about problems with others. Your relationship with your mate should be a closed sacred circle. If you talk about problems you are writing them in stone and solidifying them as real. You are also inviting others into your inner sanctum. Don’t talk about other couple’s problems. When you do, you are bringing their problems into agreement with you. You are also asking the Universe for an understanding of their issues. It will give you the understanding, by giving you a very similar experience to the one you talked about so that you can work them out yourself.
  • Don’t pull others in to validate you. All they will be doing is placating your ego. Also they will hold onto the issues long after you have let go of them and may be unconsciously used to re-trigger them again.
  • Don’t go into “them and us” mode with your mate. There have been many lifetimes when you may have been enemies. That is not the lesson in this life. The lesson in this lifetime is to overcome the past and to love unconditionally.
  • Remember your marriage vows. What GOD has brought together, let no man (or woman) put asunder. That includes the both of you. Don’t even entertain the thought that you want to end the partnership. We do this for attention or to hurt our mate. The Universe may not know our petty motives and will end up giving us what we ask for.
  • Every lesson is about learning to love unconditionally. Once you get an understanding of this, let down your stubborn walls, and accept the cycles of life; you can again live in gratitude for the perfect partner you once saw in your mate.