Getting ready to cross is a very personal time. Talking about someone’s health issue, bodily functions or story is a desecration to their person. People do this, at first to convey information but then to get attention from it, and then out of a repetitive habit. It really is nobody’s business really. People want to know details but almost all of wanting to know is lascivious in some way. It is a very private time.
Some people resent those who are quiet during this time. That is their coping mechanism. They may have a better understanding of the process than one who is trying to keep bust all the time. If someone is quiet, please respect that. It is their sacred prerogative.
Talking about the person crossing in the third party is overtly a violation of their personhood. Many people take great pride in doing this. It is like they are proud of having a role of domination over this dynamic person who was once larger than life. Talking to the doctors or others in front of them about them is passive aggressive. It is like saying, “I am important now and you are not anymore.” At the least it is disrespectful.
Talking about the person as if they are well and not experiencing something profound is a form of denial. It is a coping mechanism for those not emotionally ready to accept a shift in their world of losing this presence. It is invalidating though to the person who is fighting for their life. Please don’t tell them, “they are just fine and going to beat this; when it is common knowledge that they aren’t. This is isolating for the individual preparing to cross and who wants to just feel close to their loved ones at that time.
No need to fill space up with mindless chatter. Some patients may want to hear about mundane things but others may want to enjoy the silence. Silence is not a bad thing. When someone is working on crossing over, silence is very pleasant and it helps them tune into the vibration that they are acclimating to.
All the drama is self-indulgent. Removing ourselves from the physical body is a very natural process. We have done it infinite times. Be grateful of the transition time of illness that allows your loved one to do this on their terms with the ability to say goodbye. Crossing over is a simple matter of slipping out of the physical body and adjusting to the new vibration of the astral plane. We are evolved enough to tune into this vibration as a species but control factions have prevented it. Those who use their imagination and are creative may more easily tune into the vibration of the astral plane. Those who are rigid and conform may have a harder time with someone crossing.
The process of crossing over is really simple and pleasant. It is more traumatic to be born than it is to leave the physical realm.
Death is a naïve notion inflicted on man to control his behavior in society. It works. There is a direct correlation between a group’s belief-system; and to how adamant they are in controlling others. We do not die. We attain our awareness and keep accruing the ability for love and compassion lifetime after lifetime. All of life is an exercise in stretching our capacity to love.
Using a person’s illness to get attention is very low on the survival scale. People who do this stand out as having little understanding or compassion for the one who is actually going through the process of crossing over. Talking about someone who is ill just to indulge yourself is a violation of spiritual law and desecrates the person you talk about.
When it is someone’s time to cross and they have accepted it, the best thing you can do is show your gratitude for knowing them and give them permission to cross. Many times the people in the physical are holding the one who is ready to cross back from their journey. It is very difficult to one crossing when people do this. We do this to our pets too. It is self-indulgent to pray for them to stay or have prayer circles to get them well after the point they are gearing to cross. This is such a personal thing and the person may not have the strength to say it out loud because they don’t want to upset their loved ones. But it is self-indulgent to keep them here. It is a violation of their sacred essence. It is also a huge violation to start a prayer circle for them. Many people who do this are merely gleaning attention from their spiritual group for themselves.
Don’t put your concepts of the process of crossing onto the individual. Imagery and belief systems are very personal and can be limiting to a person who has different reference points. You may think it is the most beautiful imagery to say that “God will meet you at the door”. But they may have different imagery and think of God as vengeful. It may conjure up imageries of past life crossings of the angel of death looming nearby. It may induce fear in them that is counter-productive. Allow people to have their experience in crossing and don’t put the limitations of your belief system on them unless they ask.
Crossing over is very natural. The person stays in tune with the body for about three days and there can be a great connection made with them at this time. Being fixated in despair can block this subtle communication; which is frustrating to the one who has crossed because they are eager for you to know how great they are doing and to reassure you that everything is fine.
When you go to sleep, you are able to slip out of the physical body and visit your loved one in their new life that can, many times, look similar to their life on earth. There will though be much more freedom. You have a great time visiting with them and when you wake up, because of your limiting belief systems, don’t remember that you have just had a great time with your loved one. They get exasperated in seeing you sad when you wake up. Sometimes you have a good laugh with them about how silly the beliefs are here on earth. But then you wake up and forget.
The person who has crossed is able to manipulate electricity or induce a song to play to mean something to you. They want you to know they are fine. They still are working to comfort you. There will be a sign from nature, the wind, or one of their familiar phrases said out of the mouth of a stranger. But this takes effort for them. It would be so much easier for our loved ones who have crossed if an initial understanding of the process was in place. It would make it easier for them to connect and offer comfort if death wasn’t immersed in so much mystery.
Talking about what led to your loved ones death, locks them into the traumatic experience. It pulls on them from the other side and distracts them from their joy in the moment. This is true with our pets as well. That is why Native Americans never talk about those who have crossed over. They know it is an insult to them. They understood that our loved ones come back to us in the bodies of our babies. That is why they respect their children so much. They knew and recognized them as their forefathers.
Your loved ones will also come back to the family if there are strong bonds to do that. You can look for them in the eyes of your children, nieces and nephews, and even grandchildren.
When someone has taken their own life, they immediately realize that they have made a mistake. They are taken through a process of understanding that is horrific compared to what they were trying to escape on earth. Immediately they will pull on friends and family members that they left behind. That is why there is such a balm of despair over the home of someone who has committed suicide. They are trying to relieve their anguish by inflicting it on those who love them. Many times they will compel others take their life to keep them company. If someone takes their own life, you have to cut off all connection and sympathy to them. It is self-survival. You can’t help them. It is tough love and they need to take their “medicine”. Having sympathy or guilt for them can be used to psychically manipulate you and can destroy the happiness of whole families. It is best to focus your attention on the ones who are here with you in that case. It really is self-survival because hardly anyone is equipped to deal with such an energy as one who has ended their own physical life.
When you cross over, you don’t magically attain super powers and transform into a cosmic angel. You can give little insights to someone who loves you but you do not become omniscient merely by crossing over. It is a lateral move. One woman thought her drug dealing brother who committed suicide was now her guardian angel. He merely used her to satiate his cravings for drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. She though it was funny she took up smoking after he died. Once she understood why, she could wean herself off of them.
Your pets love you but are so “in the moments”. When they go outside, and you get very upset, it induces the belief in them that they have crossed over and are in another life. They may leave you behind when that happens. It is important that you depict calm and loving thoughts to your pets; especially when they are lost or going through a procedure. When it is time for them to cross, the most loving thing you can do is stay in a loving state with them and not talk about or relive their trauma. This can be a form of hell for them because every time you talk about them getting hit by the car, they are forced to relive it. By keeping your thoughts pleasant and loving, you are demonstrating the greatest love possible. Drama and sadness do not register well on our pets. It doesn’t actually register well on people either.