Pay attention to what you say and do and as you are doing it, ask yourself how it serves you.
For instance, people tell other people about their problems to feel better in some way. Maybe in the past they got comforted when they were sick, or when they shared a problem, they felt lighter by sharing it. So that problem had volume. It was a weight that got passed to another.
In society, we feel compelled to listen to other people’s problems but then they make us feel bad so we share them with others to reduce the weight we took on.
In regard to problems, society has become one big game of Hot Potato. A better way to operate is to consciously choose who you wish to listen to. By being the chooser, you stay in your center. If you have to choose staying centered or listening to someone’s issues, always choose to stay centered. It is okay to tell someone that you can’t listen to them now. Then serial complainers may start to realize that it is a privilege to speak with you and not an entitlement.
If you are listening to someone and you feel your mood shift to uneasiness or even anger, you have just come out of your center. It is okay to stop the interaction right then. If the person respects you, they will respect your boundary. If they don’t respect your boundaries then there is no reason to put yourself out for this person.
When someone is telling you their issue, don’t allow them to bring you into the equation by saying things like: “how would you feel if that happened to you”, or “Just imagine that”. Don’t imagine it. You don’t need to bring the issue into your personal realm. This is a psychic, maybe unconscious attempt to transfer their issues to you more readily.
When you listen to someone, stay detached. Don’t let your emotions get involved. Be compassionate without becoming caught up in the details. When someone tells me something, I look right through the details to the truth of the interaction. If you focus on the emotions, your vantage point is too low.
Even if you focus on fixing the problem, your vantage point is too low. If the goal is to fix things, the best way to help is by looking at the interaction from such an elevated vantage point that there is no right or wrong. The energies are unbalanced. If you are capable of seeing interactions from the point of view of energy, you can help disperse the energy to their equilibrium just by seeing the whole picture and not reacting to a drama.
Once you experience this, it will click in your mind (and heart) and you will want to feel this way of interacting always and to stay above the drama at all costs. It will help the wear and tear of all the components of you; the heart, mind and body. AND people will see the wisdom of it eventually and stop trying to pull down your vibration with their drama.