When someone is not overtly kind, it is never because they don’t want to be. It is because life came along and happened to them. They have been scarred and emotionally mutilated to the point of not being capable of extending love one more time. There is no need to throw salt in their wounds by taking offense at them. They are doing the best that they can.
You would not bully a disabled person because they are not able to walk. You would not taunt a mentally challenged person for not having the same intellect as you. It is just as important to show kindness to those who are less able to be loving and kind.
Just like you would extend an arm to someone who is limping; we can extend kindness to those who are lacking in the tendency to be kind. There is no need to avoid them. It is a matter of knowing our own strength and knowing how much we can extend ourselves emotionally without being pulled off-center.
Kindness is healing. Being kind can teach others the art of being both vulnerable and strong simultaneously. It will help them heal old wounds, shed many layers, recalibrate a new level of awareness, and teach them a new skill. Also, by choosing to take kindness where it is not, we could be participating in the renaissance of a lost art.