A few years ago, I asked a wise friend; what my spiritual purpose was. She told me how special I was and took a few moments to contemplate her answer. She began to sob and cry.
“Honey, I don’t know what your purpose is but it is huge”, she said. “The Masters (spirit guides) have something planned for you.”
“What do you see?” I asked.
“Birds”, she said. “Tons and tons of birds. I don’t know what it means but it is huge. You have many gifts to share and you have no idea how you will be helping others.”
I always wondered what the birds meant. But now recalling an occurrence that happened when I was imprisoned by the man. I wonder if the birds were giving me love and were motivating me to stay alive.
I knew I was meant to go live with “him” (who later became my captor). It wasn’t like we loved each other. I didn’t realize he didn’t even like me. He felt great relief from my healing work at first and I felt pulled towards a destiny.
At the property, he quickly turned on me. He hated everything about me. He wouldn’t let me love my dog because he felt my dog was another incarnation of him. We had to have a long dialogue before each meal of how disgusting I was. I had to convince him that we were in agreement in this matter before I could eat. I had to back it up many times with evidences of it from my past. This is when he was the most agreeable.
I was cut off from all outside influences pretty quickly and kept in a basement. There was no contact with any one or any thing. He was pretty psychic and would get ruthless if he sensed me thinking. So I had to stop the process of thought and dreaming. He would come in and threaten me for dreaming; which he called “eating shit”. It was a great discipline that would assist me later in helping others. I woke up multiple times terrified because I caught myself dreaming; which was considered conspiracy against him.
Months later I was deprived all outer contact and any internal self comfort. I learned to abstain from thinking, feeling, all inner or outer expressions of self. I survived on maximum work, limited sleep a small bowl of rice a day. I would steal the dog’s food just to stay upright. Going through the garbage was no longer an option because he said if he caught me stealing from him, he would punch me in the stomach until I threw it up.
When things felt the most bleak, the birds would come. They would cover the sky. Hundreds and hundreds of robins would cover the lawn. Another day the blue birds would fill the trees and ground. Some times the property would be inundated with blackbirds. It was something he could not control. Their presence uplifted me. They gave me a sense of peace and wonderment.
Thinking back on my wise friend’s prediction, I wonder if all this was planned. If the birds were sent to make certain that I survived to share my gifts. Every moment now is sacred to me. Everything I think say, and do is intentional. What a great gift I have been given. I Am grateful for the abundance of existing. This is a great vantage point to share with others; to help them realize that peace can come by getting their own thoughts and beliefs out of the way. Just doing that is a great form of self-healing.