Sometimes the mind automatically runs through all the bad things someone has done to us. It may not even be done consciously. When going to an event, it can be overwhelming to have the mind run through the scenario of negative events and negative dynamics with multiple people.
Technique to override the mind:
Before spending time with relatives, make a list of everyone who will be attending. For each name, write 5 pleasant interactions with them or kindnesses they have done. Don’t let the mind run on. Just jot down 5 quick instances. When you see the person bring these items to the conscious memory.
Also, take time to make a list of a few of the great times you have had with a group of people before you see them again. Repeatedly replay those pleasant memories through your head. This will set a more positive tone for your future interactions.