When I came back from “the property”, I thought I was a retarded boy. With my sensitivities, every sound, thought and interaction was unbearable. I just wanted to live in a nursing home where it would be very quite and non intrusive. The sleep and food deprivation made me more susceptible to his influence. He made me drink vinegar water a few times a day. This would elicit niacin flushes in me. He loved how the niacin flushes made me turn red. He said I was the devil and made me look in the mirror and laughed at how I couldn’t hide it. My days were filled with working outside chopping down trees and pulling up stumps in extreme weather with him coming around from time to time to reinforce how worthless and disgusting I was. To get my bowl of rice, I had to convince him that I knew I was disgusting. He would ask me to describe in detail how I killed my baby ( before he had turned I had told him about the abortion I had). Some days that was enough. Other days I really had to describe in detail, how no one liked me, my […]
Most of the times when I do a session on animals or human clients, I get a similar response. What I tell people rings true with them. They had gotten a sense of what I was saying already. It seems like a great leap of faith to trust your intuition but the more that you test it out with small things, the more you can trust it on more important issues. You can actually teach yourself to be your own intuitive. For example, if you get the feeling to not wear a certain garment but you wear it anyway; then you have the experience that your nudge was right. Maybe it was too uncomfortable or wrong temperature. You can begin to trust your instinct with at least, wardrobe issues. So once you develop or recognize your gut feeling mechanism, you can use it on more important issues, like finding the right diet, job, or relationships for you. The mechanism of trusting your heart or gut is infallible. It has no ulterior motive. And better yet, it serves your best interest.