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Boundaries

A Question on Maintaining Boundaries

Q- I find your posts on how people manipulate others very interesting. How do we stay free of this? I am a teacher, and I struggle with trying to please or being easily manipulated by students’ wants. A- The best way to stay free of manipulation is by tuning in to your gut feelings. Do this with every interaction until it becomes habitual. Tuning in is an innate ability that we all share, so should be easy to relearn. Test it out on small, inconsequential matters and when you get that twinge that something is not right, change your course of action. By strengthening your gut reaction mechanism, you will be better able to tell when you need to change course in any dynamic. You are in a great position to teach the children to develop this skill in them, too. Children are master manipulators. They challenge adults with the word “why”. This is a very powerful word for a child. They learn very early that when it causes an adult to be flustered, they win. So take the weapon of explaining yourself out of their arsenal. The next time a child asks you to explain yourself, simply tell them that […]

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Become a Toxic-Free Zone

People try to pull us into their drama. They try to get us to debate them or entice us with gossip. They try to pull us down to their level by piquing our curiosity, stroking our ego or stirring an emotional response. If we don’t respond, they get their feelings hurt. They may accuse us of cutting them off or acting superior. They may even accuse us of judging them. These are unconscious manipulative techniques to keep us engaged with them. Here are some responses to have handy to get yourself free: “I really don’t want to listen to others problems. I have enough on my plate with my own issues.” “I care about you, but you are not your problems. Let me hear about you”. “I don’t watch the news. Not interested.” “I don’t engage in current events, it is a waste of energy.” “I don’t talk about others. I don’t want them talking about me.” “What you are talking about makes me feel wilted. I will have to disengage soon.” “Tell me good things.” You can ignore all the negative statements and when they say something positive, reward them with being engaged. I use the following for shock […]

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The Ungrateful Exchange

I once helped a psychic who was having troubles. She said she couldn’t afford the sessions so I was giving her assistance for free. On one hand she would tell me she bought this and bought that, but then remembered she wasn’t paying me so she caught herself and started to tell me how poor she was. I realized that by me helping her for free, it kept her stuck with her story that she was a victim. I didn’t like that she felt she had to validate it for me. I wanted to help her, not hear her defend all the reasons that she was in poverty. This was not helping her. When she did readings with people, she was storing all their issues into her body. She was compacted with all their stagnant energy and they felt better. It was overwhelming how much stagnant energy was storing and I did what I could to release it.. But then she did something that was on the unconscious level very deliberate. She started talking non stop without a breadth and dumping all the energy that I didn’t release yet directly into my dan tien (below the navel). I told her […]

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Releasing Old Dynamics

I facilitated an emergency session with a regular client on the east coast. She had just had an exam and it showed an alarming amount fibroid tumors that were not present in her past history. Luckily, it was obvious when we connected, what the issue was and how to rectify the situation. Immediately in the session, I perceived that there was someone in her life that was literally using her for an emotional dumping ground. This friend was real dear to her, she felt the discomfort when this woman called her but felt compelled to allow it. My client is a very strong person with very good communication skills but felt helpless to remove herself from this energy dynamic with the woman. In her session, it came to light that the woman was her mother in a past life. In the present life, my client deferred to her friend so much because the past relationship was bleeding through. She felt compelled to “take” whatever this woman would share, out of an ingrained habit. In her session, we released all the caustic energy that the woman was unloading onto my client and helped her shift the dynamics with her friend by […]

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A New Doctor

A new doctor in Pakistan connected with me through instant message. He was a great student and he worked really hard to be a doctor. But now that he was seeing patients, he was having a real hard time. He dreaded interacting with patients and he hated being around the sick. It was so bad that he wanted to quit. But he could not because his whole family was invested in him being a great doctor. He was under a lot of pressure. He reached out to me out of desperation. I knew how to help him. In school they taught him everything about medicine and making the body well with treatments but they didn’t teach him what it was to BE a healer. He had no protective armor when treating the ill and he was taking on all their issues. So much so that he got blindsided by them. I tuned into him and repaired his energy field which is a natural buffer between people. I fortified it so he could withstand the interaction with the sick. I also assisted in flushing through all the stagnant energy he had collected thus far from patients. He felt immediately better. I also […]

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