Love’s Betrayal

When I was a little girl, I lived in a bait store. I didn’t like to fish but I liked to watch the fishermen. I would lay face down on the dock and look through the slats as I gave them a worm and watched them eat it. At first the fish didn’t trust such good fortune. They waited for a younger fish to take the bait and if they were fine, they knew it was safe to take a worm. I would get worms from the store and sit there for hours just feeding my friends the fish.

For some reason, I was able to disconnect between my relationship with the fish and the fact that people were catching them and eating them. One day when I was an adult, I had a devastating realization that sickens me to this day. I remember that the dock where I fed the fish was a place where the fishermen would sit and have real good luck in catching fish. It was my friends they were catching.

Because I gave food to the fish friends so willingly, they were more trusting of eating from under that dock. So, their trust in me and my love for them is what caused their demise. For me just thinking of it is heart wrenching. I constantly go back to those fish and send them healing love for how I unwittingly betrayed them.

I sometimes think Jesus must feel something similar about his time on earth as to how I feel about betraying the fish that trusted me. He must be heart-sick that his message of Love and acceptance has become twisted into people committing genocide in his name. It must pain him that so many twist his words and intention for their own political gain and profit. He must angst over the fact that his words of love and kindness are spouted by those who perpetuate neither.

What a travesty it must seem to him that his teachings are the backdrop used to control the masses and to judge so many as unworthy. His heart must ache with each soul that aches indirectly in his name. His focus on earth must be in healing all those that are intentionally wronged. I imagine all who are made to feel unlovable because the message of his teachings were twisted, have a very special place in his heart.

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