Were you ever pinned down as a kid? Did you ever have someone bigger than you straddle your body put a knee on each arm and just get in your face until you surrendered?
When we fight with a loved one, this is kind of what we are doing energetically to them. With anyone else, they can walk away. But you matter to them. So they take as much as they can. Maybe you are both pinned down, and at a standoff.
You want to be heard, you want to be right, you want to be validated. And so do they.
The thing is, when someone is energetically pinned down, it feels scary. All the primal issues that caused us to flee, fight, or fight come to the surface in a blinding moment. Anything they say, do, or use to attack is not about you. It is about a faceless enemy.
Anything you say, do, or use to attack is not about them. In that moment, when you feel pinned down and exposed…that is the time to stop, take a breath and remind yourself that you are exactly where you want to be. You are exactly with whom you want to be.
They are not the enemy. You are not the enemy. You are in love.
Stand in love; yours, theirs, each other’s.