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Isolation

When I spent a year in involuntary confinement, I had to work through the nights pulling out huge trees stumps. It was an excuse to keep me outside because I wasn’t wanted. I would be lying in the dirt working to dig out the roots with a flash light. I was hungry and lonely. The house was a good ways away and I would watch the window hoping beyond all hopes that “he” would come out to see me and tell me I could come in the house.

I would watch the dining room window looking for a sign that I was going to get to come in the house. I would watch the neighbors window and see movement there. I would fantasize about them coming over, seeing me working and invite me into their home and feed me. I actually thought it was a possibility that someone, any one would care enough to acknowledge me and show me some kindness. My hopes were deflated when the lights went off for the night. It was such a sinking feeling.

It was a devastating lonely existence. I was cold, lonely, hungry and tired and knew that no one cared. That everyone else had warmth and comfort and I had none. No one was going to rescue me.I felt like I was going to spend forever in this predicament because no one was going to give me permission to come in.

I am sharing this, not to elicit your sympathy for me, but to broaden your awareness. My experience is the same one that plays out a million times over by people who chain their dogs up in their back yard. They are pack animals They want to be inside amongst people and have a sense of belonging as much as I did. They deserve it. Their feelings and their quality of life are just as important as mine.

If everyone knew how excruciating this experience is, they would not inflict it on another. Pets need to be treated with compassion. It is hard for me to think of anyone experiencing what I did; regardless of whether they are in a dog body or not. They deserve a sense of belonging. To do less is cruel.

One Comment on “Isolation

Joanne
May 27, 2015 at 12:34 am

So true Jen. Bless you for sharing this and making this excellent point. I couldn’t agree more. And for the record, if I would have been your neighbor, I wouldn’t have left you outside.

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