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How to Stay “In Love”

When we fall in Love, it is the most wonderful feeling. Love is the most divine form of energy. We are actually seeing our own divine nature using the other person as a mirror. When we want to give to our partner, it keeps us open to being a conduit for love. The trick to staying in love is staying in the desire to give. It keeps our own love energy flowing.

What stops the flow of energy is when we expect to receive from the other person. It is like flipping a switch from divine love to ego gratification. Whenever we give something to our mate and expect something in return, it is a subtle form of manipulation. We have taken the divine and debased it.

I have watched the formula of down-spiraling between lovers many times. At first paradise, but then, a nagging thought comes into the equation. Something as small as a slight misunderstanding. But the mind,incessantly replays a tiny transgression and builds upon it. Before too long, there is a laundry list of reasons this person is totally wrong for you. The relationship seems hopeless.

Watching this process in yourself is a great way to learn how to overcome negative thoughts. The thoughts have their own agenda. They want to create drama for the ego so that the ego can feel alive. There are people out there who live in a constant state of upheaval. It gives them purpose. But if you don’t need the drama and want to move beyond it, simply turn off the negative flow of thoughts as they come in.

Becoming aware of negative thoughts is an accomplishment in itself because they come in so subtly. Once recognized, they can automatically be dissipated by imagining them dissolving in the ethers. If it is difficult to do, create a visual technique: see the thoughts on a chalkboard and imagine erasing them. Or pick the string of thoughts out of the air and drop them in a wastebasket. Editing thoughts helps with relationships, health issues, daily concerns and overall well being.

Another way to keep your love as divine is to realize that the main purpose that the other person fulfills is to be the recipient of your love. The gratitude will help keep the relationship in a positive light. If all the agreements this person honors with you are met with gratitude, then you’re well on your way to understanding, experiencing, and demonstrating divine love.

2 comments to How to Stay “In Love”

  • This is so true. My boyfriend was mad at me yesterday because I chose to go home to my son, who is 20 years old, but has recently suffered depression and a greater need for my presence. I invited my boyfriend to breakfast at my house, but he chose to stay home and pout. When I called, he yelled at me on the phone for 15 minutes (not in an abusive way) and said I “should think about what I had done.” Many people would have found his behavior ridiculous, or felt a need to strike back. I remembered what Jen had said about letting other people’s emotions simply flow through. Instead of thinking, “I must stand up for myself and fight back!” I simply listened. Then I took time to make breakfast for my son and do somethings around the house. I realized that the only reason my boyfriend was actually upset and blaming me, was because he wanted more time with me. He loves me and likes my presence. Yes he was putting conditions on the love. But he wouldn’t have been upset if it wasn’t that he simply wanted to be with me.

    So in a couple hours, I went out to the florist and bought a small bunch of flowers and a small cactus plant for him. I took them over and gave them to him, even though he had said he didn’t want me to come over. He was so happy. He couldn’t stop smiling. I still think his controlling behavior could cause difficulties in our relationship in the future, but we’ll work on it. The point is, I responded with love and understanding. I let his negative thoughts flow through me. I responded with love and he couldn’t help but respond back with love. I didn’t expect anything in return but I did receive love and appreciation. It dispelled a lot of complications that could have occurred. In the past I would have thought I had to “fight back” but now I see remaining calm and full of love, and using spiritual techniques works much better and is less stressful on my system. thank you, Jen!

  • Thankyou Crystal for sharing your heart. I know you and when you say “he yelled not in an abusive way”, I get a sense of what you are trying to convey. I think it’s great that you didn’t engage in fighting back and resolved the situation in a very loving way.

    I just want to make certain that my readers know I endorse Love beyond everything. This includes self love. I am not referring to you right now but I hope that my viewers understand that allowing someone to verbally assault them is a form of abuse. It is not loving to the self.

    The technique you used could actually be a powerful tool for someone in a dysfunctional situation, before they are able to remove themselves physically. I appreciate your sharing and in doing so, you may have empowered someone who is struggling to find their inner strength.

    Thanks so much.