Many people are pack animals. They want to feel included when they are in a group. They want to be validated as part of the herd. Unfortunately some may revert to the lowest common denominator in groups to ensure that they belong. The lowest commonality is complaints and problems. Everyone seems to be able to relate to them so it is a common ground of discussion and by having problems and complaints, one can be reassured that they will fit in.
The better way is to raise the bar for the whole group. Be so assured in yourself and committed to Joy and Kindness that they become common ground for the group. By refusing to engage in the opposite with confidence, you will be inviting others to do the same. Eventually, the problems and complaints mentality will no longer serve a social purpose and will dry up.
Here are some EFT taps to assist you:
(Say each statement three times while tapping on your head, and say it a fourth time while tapping on your chest.)
I release using complaints and problems as social crutch, in all lifetimes.
I release attracting problems by identifying with others’ issues, in all lifetimes.
I release inviting other people’s issues into my life, in all lifetimes.
I remove all problems and complaints from my social dynamics, in all lifetimes.
I adopt kindness and Joy as my commonality, in all lifetimes.
I greet all others on the threshold of Joy, in all lifetimes.
I am centered in Joy and Kindness, in all lifetimes.