A Question on Maintaining Boundaries

Q- I find your posts on how people manipulate others very interesting. How do we stay free of this? I am a teacher, and I struggle with trying to please or being easily manipulated by students’ wants.

A- The best way to stay free of manipulation is by tuning in to your gut feelings. Do this with every interaction until it becomes habitual. Tuning in is an innate ability that we all share, so should be easy to relearn. Test it out on small, inconsequential matters and when you get that twinge that something is not right, change your course of action. By strengthening your gut reaction mechanism, you will be better able to tell when you need to change course in any dynamic.

You are in a great position to teach the children to develop this skill in them, too. Children are master manipulators. They challenge adults with the word “why”. This is a very powerful word for a child. They learn very early that when it causes an adult to be flustered, they win. So take the weapon of explaining yourself out of their arsenal.

The next time a child asks you to explain yourself, simply tell them that you don’t know how to explain why, but what they are asking just doesn’t feel like the right course of action. So get used to saying, “it doesn’t feel right”. They won’t know how to respond. They will actually respect something that they don’t understand. They will respect you more for introducing them to it.

So when anyone engages you and you feel them in your psychic space, take a deep breath to align yourself, because that person is trying to push you out of your center. If you are centered, the answer to how to maintain being grounded will be given.

Once, I was babysitting two children and the little girl was fond of eating. The little boy wanted a bowl of cereal and she had already eaten. She wanted to eat again but she was clearly not hungry. She used “go-to” technique on me. She said, “That’s not fair!” Since I was centered, I simply replied, “Food isn’t a reward. It is a means to nurture the body”. She was speechless and the challenges stopped.

Also, there is an outer protective skin on our energy field that gets compromised. When it does, it is more difficult to maintain our boundaries.

Do this tap. Say the following statement three times while tapping on your head and say it a fourth time while tapping on your chest:

I repair and fortify my Wei Chi, in all lifetimes.

As for being liked, there is nothing more attractive than someone who has a skill that the other does not. By forgoing the need to blend in and by showing your individuality, you will be showing up in a way that others admire.

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